Chasing After Me

He hugged me. And then he hugged me again. And then he kissed my cheek. And he spoke to me in a language I couldn’t understand, but his eyes spoke a language I did understand. And, then Vincente handed me his bag of bread. The whole bag.

It was the most humbling experience of my life.

Vincente used to be a hitman. But now he embraces “man.”

Vincente used to take life, now he overflows with Life.

He’s one of the happiest and most generous people I’ve ever met, yet his material possessions are very few. He carries around everything of value to him in his backpack. Based upon what I know about Vincente, I imagine it’s not much more than his Bible, some fishing line and a knife to prepare his fish. He fishes everyday to catch his meals, and some days he only buys an onion and a lime to make ceviche in the rocks by the ocean.

And he gave me his bread. His whole bag of bread. Four pieces of sweet-smelling fresh bread that he just bought at the market…likely his breakfast…for at least a couple days…and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

It’s the most precious gift I’ve ever received.

I had been teaching about life and the safety we have in the grace of God. But Vincente taught me, in that moment, about the generosity that flows from the manifestation of true life…the kind of generosity that overflows from a life filled with LIFE.

The message of LIFE Vincente shared with me is one etched on my heart. Forever. As I eat that bread for breakfast today, I know that the gift I’m eating came from a place of Life…Life that will nourish and sustain me…Life that, in some way, will always remain a part of my being.

I’m so sick of watching and reading news lately. I’m tired of hearing about the debt ceiling.  I’m tired of hearing about credit downgrades. I’m tired of negative economic news sending people into a panic.

Is that what life is really all about?

Oh, I’m not naïve. I get it. I understand the implications. I freelance and consult to make ends meet. My husband works for a major U.S. retailer. I know what happens when companies tighten expenses their customers tighten expenses. I get it. I could dwell on it…scurry…worry…but it’s not worth it to me.

It’s not what life is about.

Today 31 Navy Seals died in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan. It’s not about why our military is there and whether or not it’s the right thing. It’s not what this blog is about.  The point is 31 families are hurting today. Their hearts are breaking. They’re hanging on to memories. They’re shedding tears. They’re probably immensely proud of their lost ones. They probably wish they could have shared their feelings with their loved ones just once more.

Those families are being thrust into remembering what life is really about.

I’m pretty sure that today those families don’t care about the downgraded U.S. credit score. Frankly, I’m pretty sure that many of them would probably give up their jobs for another moment with their lost loved ones. I bet that the lives of those 31 Navy Seals have collectively inspired tens of thousands of others…inspired them to really live…really embrace life…

And the odd and encouraging thing is that despite the hurt that comes with this news is that even in death, the inspiration of those 31 Seals’ lives…lives filled with life, passion, commitment and loyalty…lives filled with life.

The economy will fluctuate forever. But life isn’t about money. Life isn’t about worrying what may or may not happen. Life is about embracing LIFE. Life is about inspiring others to LIVE. Life is about a community’s love and compassion for one another amid hurts and shortfalls. That’s the life I want to live…not wasted on worry…but a life embracing hope…an economy of life.

I firmly believe that I’ve got something to learn from everyone.

But, even more powerful, is realizing that every person can inspire you.

Inspiration is what happens when we stop looking at human interactions as transactional. The moment we remember that everyone is a person with feelings…with a story…is the moment their life can change ours…for the better.

Learning from others is amazing. When we learn from others, knowledge fills our brains. But, when we’re inspired we’re compelled to act. Learning keeps us humble…it makes us wise. But being inspired each other helps us live…fully embrace life.

This week I met with a client, her generosity to give others credit for work well done reminds me to always shine a spotlight on others’ accomplishments.

This week a friend of mine told another friend of mine that she was making a difference, her willingness to share that reminds me that a few words of encouragement, even to someone I barely know, can mean the world.

This week I met a priest, his willingness to connect with me reminds me how important it is to keep an open mind and open door…even with strangers.

This week I had lunch with a new friend who shared a lot of her life story with me. Her candor and strength remind me of how important it is to be real.

This week I met with a vendor, his desire to learn more about my needs reminds me of the importance of trust.

This week my husband’s giddiness over seeing his family reminds me of how precious family is.

This week a friend of mine needed to unload some crap. His willingness to lay it all out there reminds me how important it is to not bottle things up.

This week I had dinner with friends who have poured a ton of themselves into a cause they believe in with all of their beings. They remind me of what people can do when they work together with people being their number one priorities.

This week I met a man who left his steady job while he did some soul searching to find something that resonated with his desires deep inside him. His courage reminds me of the importance of embracing who we are at our cores.

This week one of my best friends poured hours of his life into literally rebuilding his family’s home and spent the rest of those hours inspiring a team of people…all while being an amazing husband and father. His dedication reminds me that people are what always matter most.

Those reminders were inspirations…of humanness…of belief…of life…a true depiction of what matters in life. I pray I never stop being inspired by those around me.

We’re needy people. I know I am. Needy in that I need to know I am loved.

I believe everyone, no matter what they might say to the contrary, wants to know they’re loved…wants to feel loved.

But, sometimes my frustrations work overtime. In some moments or seasons I don’t feel loved. Cognitively, I know I am loved. But it’s that feeling part that gets in the way. The feeling tries to talk me out of the knowledge that I am, indeed, loved…loved by my husband…loved by my family…loved by my friends…loved by God.

My feelings get in the way of the indisputable truth that I am, indeed, loved.

I think that holds true for all of us.

We think we risk losing love. And in all reality, because I’m talking about humans here (not God), that’s possible.

I think God knew long ago that feeling loved might be an issue. And I believed He tackled the issue head on.

I believe God loves us so much that He wants nothing to separate us from Him. He believes the best in us…despite our shortcomings, failures, imperfections and doubts. He believes the best in us so much that He made those shortcomings, failures, imperfections and doubts disappear…they’re gone as far as the east is from the west. Even if we still see them. God doesn’t. He only sees the best. He made a decision long ago to make sure that He only sees the best in us. And he keeps giving out love.

What does that have to do with feeling loved by our significant others? Our closest friends? Our families?

Well, if God’s love lives inside of us, then it is a love that believes the best…a love that gives out even more love.

All too often we forget both of those truths.

We assume that our families no longer care. We assume that our significant other is mad at us. We assume that a friend has replaced us with someone else.

If those are the things we dwell upon, are we believing the best in people?

If those are the things we dwell upon, are we focused too much on ourselves instead of letting God’s love exude from us into the lives of others?

I’m not saying the feelings aren’t real. Because they are. Frankly, I’ve felt them all…often…and they reappear all of the time.

But feeling sorry for ourselves doesn’t help anything.

When I stop the love flow to others based upon my fears, assumptions or frustrations, it only makes me feel awful…feel lonely…feel depressed. In focusing upon myself, I forget that they might be overwhelmed, they might be busy, they might be dealing with stuff, they might be tired, they might be absent-minded, they might be feeling the same “unloved” feelings I’m dealing with, or maybe they really are frustrated with me…but it doesn’t change that love believes the best…and it doesn’t change the fact that love gives.

The thing is…when I realize the self-pity ridiculousness that is going on in my head…and I force myself to stop and believe the best in those people…and to let love flow…I forget about the feelings, and I feel fulfilled. And, almost simultaneously, I feel loved…not because the love is always returned to me…but because love is operating in me…and that’s when I feel loved by a being much bigger than I can imagine.

Love exists to be given away…as we believe the best in one another.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, The Message)