Something I hate more than seeing people putting others into boxes…people putting themselves in boxes. You are unboxable.

I was talking to someone in particular when I said that. I was talking to myself. Reminding myself. Frustrated with myself for not seeing that I’d done it again.

I could pretend that the journey I’m on is all sunshine and rainbows. I mean, it’s about chasing after God’s call on my life…how could it not be all smiles?

Insert sarcasm here.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that I know that I know that the journey I’m on is the right one. But that path still has ditches. Muddy ones. The ones where you twist your ankle and fall and get all covered in grime. But they’re just that. Ditches. Not chasms. They’re nothing you can’t climb out of. Especially when you have help. But you need to know who can help you. You can call to your friends for help. But they can’t reach you. They can’t reach you because they’re on different paths. Unique paths for each one of them. They might be able to see you. But they can’t reach. They can only point you to the one who can reach you.

I’ve realized something…when things get scary, when I realize I need to be strong and crazy enough to be comfortable being me…a me that will never be found on someone else’s path…and that no one else has a path that looks like my own…I look for a box to jump in and hide…somewhere that limits where God can lead me. For the record, those confining boxes are found in ditches.

I knew I was in a ditch. And I was looking to people on paths of their own to try to help me out. Don’t get me wrong. They would have helped me get out if they could have reached me. Problem was, they couldn’t reach me. They were on their own paths. They were busy trying to navigate the twists, turns and ditches on their own paths.

I knew what I needed to get out of my ditch: seemingly simple encouragement. Someone to say I was heading in the right direction…someone to tell me that my talents were useful…someone to say it was OK that I wasn’t like other people…someone to tell me that there is a plan…someone to remind me to seek rest. But, despite the efforts of the amazing people in my life, it wasn’t enough. A couple of days ago, the reason became apparent as I was studying…

John 5:44 (The Voice translation):
…you are consumed by the approval of other men, longing to look good in their eyes, and yet you disregard the approval of the one true God.

Fancy that. Didn’t I feel like an idiot. At that very moment, I realized what was wrong. I was so busy running so fast that I wasn’t listening to all God had for me. You know how sometimes you hear the first few words of what someone is saying and then run with it without listening to the WHOLE thing? That’s what I was doing. And in doing that, I was not listening intently enough to God to hear his affirmation, his love and his encouragement. God was waiting right there with the grace I needed, but I was so busy crying for help that I failed to see his pierced hand in front of my face. He was waiting there, ready to pull me out of the box that was in the ditch and to embrace me, despite being a muddy mess.

For the record, I’m walking again, limping a little maybe, but I know I can walk off the pain with his help.

I can’t believe I’m the only one whose ever felt this. It’s a lonely feeling. But my question for you is: where are you looking for help? Even those closest to you can’t reach the depths of your heart that need to be reached. They’re on their own paths. All of them different and unique. So slow down so you can hear ALL God has for you. Listen. There’s good stuff in there. He is the only encouragement, love and grace with eyes penetrating enough to find you hiding in a box…and with a hand strong enough to pull you out of the mud.