Chasing After Me

Knowledge informs. Being informed is a good thing. Knowledge serves a purpose.

While knowledge and information help us get through life, experiences stoke passions in our lives…experiences transform our perspectives…experiences evoke cravings for the possible.

Knowledge is controllable. Experiences can be scary…we subject ourselves to the unknown. Allowing ourselves to experience life opens us up to risk. But experiences in our lives will always be more profound and fulfilling than any knowledge could possibly be.

Ask me how I know. Experiences changed me.

I had a conversation with a friend the other night. He shared a story of string of experiences that brought the knowledge he had to life. It ignited passion in him. It ignited excitement. It ignited a desire for more. He let the experiences take hold of him and bring him somewhere filled with life. Knowledge couldn’t do that on it’s own.

We get to embrace experiences. We get to create opportunities for others to experience. We get to let experiences transform us.

We get to grow. We get to learn. We get to share.

We get fulfilled.

Giving money = generosity.

It actually looks ridiculous to me to see that written above. It makes me sad to think that, for years, I fell for the lie that American culture leads us to believe. We’ve narrowed the field of generosity to merely something with monetary value. And, to be frank, money is not what matters in this life. Sure, it’s a measure of exchange. Sure, we need it to get stuff done (especially in our consumer-driven society). But really, people matter most. Not money.

What about generosity of time that values people? What about generosity of words that encourage people? What about the generosity of smiles that instantly flip the course of a day for people? What about generosity of kindness that show people that someone cares. What about generosity of forgiveness that makes grace come to life? What about generosity of heart that that loves on people?

I think people are more generous then they’re given credit for. We don’t have to be affluent to be generous. Generosity should never be solely tied to money. Words and actions showing kindness make lifelong impacts. Money only lasts until we put the last quarter in the soda machine.

You are a generous human being. Embrace it.

Two and a half years ago, my life turned upside down. I left the comfort and security of a solid job to pursue things burning inside of me.

Little did I know at the time that those flames would turn into a full-on inferno of passion and an unstoppable drive to further a mission of grace, love and freedom.

That description probably sounds like sunshine and rainbows, but it’s been hard…and I’ve learned a lot.

Prior to that point in my life, I felt like I knew what I was meant to do…since I loved communications and helping people put thoughts into words, I felt as if I existed to help people embrace the purpose, significance and value in their stories…to help them articulate their stories using their strengths…strengths that maybe they didn’t even realize existed…and then cheer them on to whatever the future held.

Then things changed.

I vividly remember having conversations with my closest friends once I took on my role at Bloom. It sometimes felt awkward and clunky. I remembered saying that I was always used to being in the backseat helping people be great…I wasn’t used to being front-and-center. Looking back, it’s obvious why it felt awkward and clunky, I took my focus off of purpose…tried to embrace a different purpose.

THAT was my biggest mistake.

It was frustrating for a while. Things felt very right, yet somehow off. I couldn’t put my finger on it. After a few months, I finally let things go and just let myself act like Dawn again, and then things felt right…but at the time I didn’t really know why.

Then one day it became crystal clear. It was as if God, himself, was talking to me…and, frankly, I don’t doubt that he was.

“Your purpose never changed. I just gave you a new platform.”

That might sound crazy. That might sound anti-climactic. But, to me, it was jarring, freeing and energizing. A reminder that – no matter what life tosses at me, or where I volunteer my time, or where I work, or whomever I speak to – my purpose lies in encouraging others…and helping them embrace their stories to inspire more people. Sure, throughout my life I’ll have to learn my way around new spaces, but each new venue doesn’t change who I was meant to be. It was then when things began clicking again…because I realized that I could embrace that purpose I knew was always there…in my role at Bloom…in my role at work…as a wife…as a friend. Now, I can say I’m more confident, excited, peaceful and ready to take on new challenges…because I know I can be me no matter where I am.

…and my prayer is that everyone finds that place where they can embrace their purpose…not think it needs to change…not think it’s tied to a specific job, role or earthly relationship…because I genuinely believe it’s God-given and much bigger than that…that purpose will help us do our jobs, be better spouses, be better parents, be better friends…simply be.

***If you haven’t ever read Strengths Finder 2.0, do it. Take the assessment. It’s a great tool and can help you embrace your talents…event things you don’t see as talents right now.

***Take a listen to Bloom’s Purpose Realized series…the messages I heard during this time helped me hear more clearly from God.

I’ve been silent on this blog for a while. I’ve made a lot of excuses for the silence…like…no one reads this blog…no one cares what I really think… my perspective isn’t valuable…my perspective isn’t unique…I don’t have time.

But here’s the thing: none of those things matter. Furthermore: I know those things are not true. Not for me, not for anyone.

I believe that every person IS a story…every piece of his or her life. And, the thing about a story is…a story isn’t a story unless it’s shared.

Life is not a solo mission…for anyone.

So you share, too.

Maybe writing isn’t your thing. So find another way to share. But don’t be afraid of your story. Don’t be ashamed of your story. Don’t assume no one cares. Embrace who you are. Share who you are…the good…the bad…the obnoxious…the infuriating…the humor…the heart.

We were not meant to live alone. We were made for each other. To love each other. To encourage each other. To embrace each other. To inspire each another. To help each other discover what already is inside of each of us…right now…all of who we are. Our lives were meant to sharpen other lives. Now…not someday.

You are a story. Share you.

A story isn’t a story unless it’s shared…and I assure you…someone is listening.

Embrace your once upon a time.

I always apologize. For everything…seriously…FOR EVERYTHING.

Some of the things, I absolutely should apologize for.

But I also find myself apologizing…for speaking, for having opinions, for asking questions, for not saying enough, for not fixing something unfixable, for thinking I’m not good enough, for other peoples’ emotions, for my own emotions, for not doing something that was never expected in the first place…it really never ends.

Mostly, if I look at the big picture, I actually apologize unendingly for BEING myself…to the annoyance of the people in life who are most precious.

I always thought that trait was simply compassion…just how I’m wired.

Others might call it perfectionism.

My closest friends might lovingly call it an annoyance.

My (very wise) husband calls it ridiculously self-critical.

This week I’ve been reading Angry Conversations with God, by Susan Isaacs, and something LEAPED off of the page. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I’m quite certain it was God Himself showing me something. Here’s the quote:

Susan, I think you keep apologizing (to God) because you haven’t accepted forgiveness (from God).

The thing is, it wasn’t the actual words on the page that got to me. When I read that passage over and over again, I saw something different:

Dawn, I think you keep apologizing (to those you love) because you haven’t accepted their acceptance (of you).

Wow.

The “Dawn” version screamed at me. The realization was startling. More startling, because I now realize I’ve rejected acceptance my entire life.

By rejecting acceptance, I’ve discounted the love that those closest to me constantly and unconditionally offer. And, by doing that, I’ve also rejected God’s attempts to tangibly love me through people who are His hands and feet.

It is the root of something that’s nagged me my entire life…something that has often made me feel lonely…something that has often made me feel insecure…something that could keep me from where I’m supposed to go.

Sorry for my mistakes…but no longer sorry for who I am.