Chasing After Me

I believe that big rewards come from big risks. And just this week, it finally got through my dense brain, that even bigger rewards come from big trust.

For me, risks and trust get real when applied relationally. Baring my soul – complete with insecurities, imperfections, annoyances and even giddiness – is scary. Sharing all of who we are with anyone is a risk. But, when relationships are developed under that kind of transparency, they’re precious…they’re real…they’re like home…the relationships themselves are heaven on earth…they withstand.

And I usually forget that part…that they withstand.

They withstand distance, busy-ness and changes in life directions. Relationships built on the big risk of transparency have built-in trust because they’re built ON trust.

My realization? I’m afraid of trusting those to whom I’m closest to love me in return. And that’s sad. As if they’re not capable of loving me as much as I love them? As if people aren’t capable of giving me grace for bummer or crabby days? As if their busyness or distance means they don’t care? Others may show love differently than I, but it doesn’t mean they don’t love. And, honestly, trusting their love might just be my greatest demonstration of love to them.

It’s funny, I spend most of my time in life finding ways to remind people that they’re loved. And, for me, it’s a very spiritual thing. I believe that we (human beings) were created to be loved, and to love in return. And I want everyone to know that. I believe that God loves us through everything around us…through things we see and relationships we experience. And, at some point, we simply need to choose to believe that we’re loved…even when we’re not entirely feeling it…because that is what faith is.

Do you note the irony here?

At some point, I need to trust people…and choose to believe I’m loved…even when I’m not entirely feeling it…because that’s what faith in their love for me is. And the reward? Knowing I don’t have to worry about whether or not they love me, but simply having peace in knowing I’m loved.

Accepting love is a choice. I would know…because it’s a choice I have to make, too.

I love writing. I love being vulnerable. I believe deeply that every thought and experience one person has can change at least one other life for the better.

So why is writing this blog (and the five book ideas in my head!) hard for me? Maybe it’s because I know that I know that I know that it’s something I should be doing and I put ridiculous pressure on myself.  Maybe it’s because I think doing other things with my time are more fruitful. Maybe it’s because it’s because it requires me to publish unrefined thoughts. Maybe it’s because a part of me is afraid of the vastness of where things could lead. I don’t know. It’s probably all of that.

But, I’m surrounded by amazing human beings. Amazing human beings who don’t know that they even hold me accountable to doing what I love…hold me accountable to not discounting what I love…hold me accountable for something they know I’m supposed to be doing, too. I’m grateful for them. They keep me going.

I think we all inexplicably avoid things we’re passionate about. And I think it’s because of fear. It’s stupid becaus, if it’s a passion of ours, and it’s a competency of ours, then it is our strength….and I believe that God operates through the unique talents he’s given each of us…operates through us. Why wouldn’t we give our strengths to Him, too? What’s to be afraid of? Because, perfect love casts out fear.

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Take a few more. Remember how much you’re loved. Trust that love. Trust the peace. And let God take over…no fear…we’re not alone.

Hope isn’t trite. Hope isn’t naivete. Hope isn’t an escape. Hope isn’t even wishful thinking.

I feel that all too often we brush off hope as something touchy, feely and squishy. Something meant to make us feel warm and fuzzy. Something Pollyanna-ish.

But we forget that hope is strong. Hope withstands. Hope gives comfort. Hope gives peace.

Sure, hope can make you happy and it can make you smile, but hope is bigger than optimism…bigger than happiness…

Hope is real.

People often ask me what keeps me going…how I can always look at the upside of situations…how I can smile so often…how I can be so happy.

The answer is hope.

Hope is mentioned a lot in the New Testament (it’s especially prominent in letters from Paul). The Greek definition of that word in every single reference is an expectation and a confidence. For me, that expectation and confidence is knowing God is with me. Always. Forever. There’s no shaking Love Himself.

That means, once you realize hope is unshakable, you might end up with the same happiness disease that I have. Be warned, with a realization of hope, you’ll end up laughing more, crying more, taking more risks, loving more people…because there is nothing – absolutely nothing – to lose.

The author of Hebrews calls hope an anchor for our souls. I think that’s a pretty good descriptor. Hope keeps us connected to a solid foundation. When storms come and hurl everything into a tailspin, hope is still connected to the foundation. In moments of unhappiness and in times of discontent hope still exists and reminds us that ultimately everything will be OK.

Hope withstands anxiety.

Hope withstands frustration.

Hope withstands when smiles don’t.

Hope dwells in our souls. Hope is everpresent. Hope gives our lives life.

Hope is bigger than us. Thank goodness, because then we’re not left holding on to ourselves when everything else feels like it’s falling apart. Hope being bigger than us also means that when peace and happiness overtake us, it’s not about ourselves either…we are fueled by the love of someone much bigger.

Call me an optimist. Roll your eyes. But don’t downplay hope’s power.

Hope is powerful. Hope changes people.

I would know. Hope changed me.

Hope is my anchor. Always.

Love leads the way… and it’s what we leave behind…

“Are you one of those ‘love’ people?”

“Don’t you go to that ‘love’ church?”

“I know you believe in love, but…”

Yes. Yes. And there are no “buts.”

It seems a month doesn’t go by without at least hearing these questions a few times.

To me, it’s a strange question. It seems to me that the deep-seeded desire of every person is to be loved. I believe that much of the hate and hurt in the world comes from a unwillingness to let ourselves be loved, and an unwillingness to love. And, maybe it’s because I can’t imagine life without love…I believe with all my heart that love, true unconditional love, brings life…I believe that life and love are inseparable.

Some might call that idealistic.

I like to call it human.

Jesus told His disciples that people would know they were His followers because of their love…not their knowledge…not their eloquent words…not their theology…not their morals…not their performance…not their judgment on others…but because of THEIR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER.

God IS love.

A couple weeks ago when I was volunteering with some Bloom friends at The Family Place in St. Paul, there was a moment. A moment when I realized that I’m on this journey filled with love and grace with many other people. A moment that was like a rally cry. A moment that was all about love and letting others feel love.

When Bloom set out to connect with organizations in the community, we never set out to tell people about Jesus. You heard that correctly. We’re a church hellbent on loving and serving when we’re in the community, not tossing out a soapbox to stand on and scream from. Why? Because we want to be known by our love…true, overflowing, unconditional love.

I believe it’s because LOVE is what matters. I believe it’s because LOVE speaks louder than words. I believe it’s because LOVE helps people love themselves, despite their mistakes. I believe it’s because LOVE connects with our spirits and our souls in a way nothing else can. I believe LOVE speaks its own language, one without words. I believe LOVE always wins.

After all, if God is Love, and I believe in God…then logic says my belief in love is undeniable.

Joy unites us. Tragedy unites us.

Why? Because, as Mark Twain so simply said, “We’re all alike on the inside.”

The great unifier? Humanity.

It’s no wonder we rejoice in the happiness of others. It’s no wonder we cry with those who are hurting. Because it doesn’t matter where you live, what color your skin is, what language you speak, how you dress, who you love, how you vote or what you believe.

Tangibly, our bodies work the same.

Intangibly, our hearts work the same.

Our hearts sympathize with others. Our hearts know the feelings of joy and pain. Our hearts long for wholeness, especially when we sense brokenness. And, I believe, it’s because we’re all part of the same body.

This past week, I’ve seen proof. I’ve watched from the sidelines as humanity rallied together to share their love, concern and tears with a friend holding out hope for the safe return of her missing husband and three children. Some people knew the family well. Some didn’t know them at all. (I didn’t know Luke Bucklin well. But I’m blessed to call his lovely wife Ginger my friend.)

The beauty is, it doesn’t matter who knew them and who didn’t. Humanity has felt the hurt and pain of the family. Humanity has fed the family. Humanity sent messages to the family. Humanity prayed for the family. Humanity hoped for the family. Humanity flooded the family’s home with compassion. Humanity rejoiced with the family during the high points of the past week. Humanity cried with them during the lowest points. And, beautifully, humanity stands unified in love with heavy hearts for the entire family after hearing the news that no one wanted to hear.

You see, I believe we were created in the image of God. The same God who came to this earth as Jesus. The same God who created not just one human, but dreamed up plans for an entire human race meant to live together, rejoice together and cry together. The same God who sent His spirit to live inside of those who’ve choose to believe in Him, and work through us so others can physically feel His love for us, as if we’re His hands and feet in the world.

1 Corinthians 12:25-27:

The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance. You are Christ’s body—that’s who you are!

We’re made for each other. We’re meant to love each other. We’re meant to laugh together. We’re meant to cry together. We’re meant to encourage each other. We’re meant to function together. In our uniqueness, we’re unified…because, in Christ, we share a body.

None of us are immune to disappointment. None of us are immune to frustration. None of us are immune to sadness. And, God isn’t immune to those feelings either. And, if we are the body of Christ, then He feels our pain and we can feel His comfort.

This I know: my God is not the author of pain.

This I know: my God is love.

This I know: my God is peace.

This I know: my God hurts when I hurt.

This I know: my God uses evil for good.

This I know: my God makes his love tangible for me through other people.

None of will ever have the answers we want in the face of tragedy. But all of us can choose to let God’s love flow from us into the lives of others who need to feel Him tangibly. And, I believe, that love is most important…that love wins…that love trumps answers.

We will be disappointed. We may even be disappointed with God. And, I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be disappointed with God than disappointed without God. I know he’ll love me through the rest of this body. I know that He will love others through me. I’m watching Him love the Bucklin family through humanity right now.

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

-2 Corinthians 1:4

…bound together by humanity…bound together in love…bound together by God…