Chasing After Me

(If you missed the post earlier this week about our culture’s need for community, click here)

Follow me here…

If God = Love, and if Jesus = God, then following Jesus = Following Love

Right?

And love, by definition, is FOR someone else.

Ekklesia, the Greek word for The Church (as referenced in the New Testament of the Bible), means the assembly of the called (those who have responded to the call of God’s immense, all-encompassing, unbelievable, overwhelming, grace-filled, forgiveness-filled love…not a technical definition, but my interpretation of the love from God I’ve felt in my own life).

Shouldn’t, then, that assembly of those following Love Himself be filled with love for one another? No matter who they are? Without judgment? We read in the book of John that Jesus came to love the world, not judge it. And, if we – the assembly of the called, also known as the church – love others as Christ has loved us, then shouldn’t we have created a gathering of people filled with love for each other? A place of transparency and acceptance? A gathering of people that people long to be a part of? Instead of a gathering of people that others work hard to avoid for fear of being ostracized?

Church has become something we do, a place we go, a notch in our pride belts…instead of who we are. We talk about church more in terms of how it fits into our lives and how great we think it makes us, instead of an environment of unconditional love.

Theologian Andrew Kirk says it beautifully: What the New Testament means by the Church is not an institution which owns property, performs rites and organizes meetings, or even one that plans strategies to evangelize unreached people. Rather, it is a group of ordinary people who, because they are experiencing the immense grace of a compassionate God, are learning how to overcome hostility between people, forgive and trust one another, share what they have and encourage one another in wholesome and joyous relationships.

If love is our mission, than community follows. We can’t have one without the other.

As Christians, our unity comes from that big, sappy, mushy gift of unconditional love that we’ve all chosen to accept. It’s grace.

Our unity does not come from how we do church, or what we look like.

Grace, Himself, is our great uniter.

Who cares if people worship God differently? Who cares if we all have questions about God? Why do we argue about sin if God only sees His children as He sees his own perfect son (Jesus)? Who cares what gender, ethnicity, culture, or lifestyle brings to the table.

God is bigger than all of that. And if God = love, then love is bigger than all of that, too.

And, the moment we think we have God figured out…turned into a process, program, or a textbook…is the moment we need to realize we’ve missed the enormity of His being…we’ve missed the point.

Can’t we embrace our differences and all chase after love together? Realizing that we all bring something valuable and beautiful to the table?

God is love. God loves us. As followers of Jesus, we have chosen to accept God’s love for us. God’s love is so big that it cannot be contained in one human body.

Love overflows.

Love gives.

Love is about relationships, not rules.

Love creates community.

The church should not be an inwardly-focused exclusive club.

The church (followers of Christ, Himself) should be home to a giant party, a party where everyone is invited, a party where everyone feels loved, a party that deepens relationships and friendships, a party where people realize that the one thing that unites is bigger than all of the things that make us different.

Americans are hungry for real relationships and we, the church, should be standing at the ready, without judgment, to be curious and compassionate reminders of the bigness of Love, himself.

The church can and should be heaven on earth.

Community is a buzzword right now.

Everyone wants to create their own…from President Obama’s campaign for re-election…to Starbucks…to Pinterest…to Target…to the local mechanic.

Companies like Facebook are capitalizing on people’s hunger for community.

Why?

I believe it’s because we were created for relationship.

I believe it’s because we were created to love and be loved.

And, sadly, I think our culture has forgotten about our natural wiring as human beings…we were never meant to be alone.

Instead of discovering the exponential beauty that we can create collaboratively by letting our lives weave together, we’ve created an empire of self. And in an environment where we glamorize and reward independence, we’ve, consequently, created loneliness.

Pride and loneliness. Now, there’s a combination…certainly not the definition of heaven on earth.

No wonder the world is hungry for true community again. No wonder organizations are spending millions of dollars to create it.

I prided myself on being independent for 30 years. Every single report card as a child lauded my independence. I became so stubborn about doing everything myself that I would avoid things I couldn’t do on my own because I didn’t want to ask anyone for help. And, then, I felt alone. When you feel alone, you realize how weak you are, you dissect your inabilities, and you dwell on your insecurities.

Sounds healthy and fun, eh?!

No wonder we Americans have a problem. No wonder people are committing suicide. No wonder there are eating disorders. No wonder bullying is a problem. No wonder mental illnesses have sky-rocketed. No wonder people are suffering physically, mentally, and emotionally. No wonder people are hurting.

No wonder even giant companies and organizations are trying to address the problem.

Mother Teresa said it wisely: “The worst disease in today’s world is not leprosy or cancer: it is the feeling of being uncared for, unwanted, of being deserted and alone.”

I know today that I was never really independent. I only pretended I was…pretended to myself, and pretended to the world. Being independent put me in control. Being independent helped me avoid putting burdens on anyone else. Being independent protected my feelings.

Independence from people is not a breeding ground for love.

Pretending to be independent kept me from being me. It kept me from letting others help me see things in myself I didn’t know were there. It kept me from the full manifestation of love in my life.

I read a blog last week that said 44 percent of the letters in the New Testament of the Bible are about how we should get along with one another (only four percent were about “spiritual gifts”). In the same blog I read that the words “one another” are mentioned 59 times! As someone who has spent more than a decade in professional communications and messaging, I can tell you that mentioning something that many times means it’s REALLY important.

We cannot “one another” by ourselves!

Furthermore, we cannot love one another without looking beyond ourselves.

Community is the manifestation of love. You can’t have one without the other.

Loving others IS loving God. Where love is present, God is present. Love creates community. Where two or more are gathered, THERE GOD IS in the midst of us. Why? Because then LOVE is present.

Community is detrimental to our well-being.

Community spreads love.

Community spreads God’s love.

Community changes peoples’ lives.

Community is the church in action.

Our decision to follow Christ may be a personal one, but the manifestation of Him in our lives is not…it’s about people…community.

No we can’t all be best friends to everyone, then it would be fake…and we’d all be bad friends. But we can all show love, compassion and curiosity. We can all take time to learn about people. We can all connect people with others. We can ALL create community. Community isn’t something we sit around and wait to land in our laps. We were all charged with creating it when we were charged to LOVE.

If God has commissioned us all to love…love, by nature, forms an interdependent community.

We don’t need ad agencies, web firms and Fortune 500 companies to spend millions of dollars to create something already at our fingertips.

Bob Goff, the author of my favorite new book called Love Does, says it eloquently: “It seems that what God does most of the time when he has something to say is this…he doesn’t pass us messages, instead he passes us each other…We are the means, the method, the object and the delivery method.”

Let’s not get bogged down in the pride of independence or unravel in our loneliness. If we all stopped making life about ourselves and started loving where we’re capable of loving in our lives, community will be created…guaranteed…because that’s what love does.

(And, we’re not done on this topic yet…in a few days I’ll be sharing about the church’s role in creating community!)

I don’t believe being a Christian is about avoiding hell.

I believe following Jesus, and realizing we’re lovable despite our crap, is about finding fulfillment and life…here and now.

I don’t believe the Bible is best read as an instruction book.

I believe that the Bible will change your life when you read it as a love story of an eternal creator pursuing those He loves.

I don’t believe conversations with God have to be filled with elegant, flowery and ridiculously inspirational words and phrases that no one would ever use in real life.

I believe God wants us to know we can talk with Him like we talk with our friends – no matter how happy, sad or angry we are…even if we’re pissed at God, Himself.

I don’t believe that God should be marketed as the ultimate self-help program.

I believe that the true Love and Life that lives inside of us gives more hope to the rest of the world than any pamphlet handed to people on the street ever could.

I don’t believe that heaven will be sparsely populated.

I believe that God did everything in His power to spend eternity with every single being He created.

I don’t believe we have to perform rituals to earn God’s love.

I believe human beings were created to be loved. And, when we experience true Love, love overflows from our lives into the lives of others.

Those are the realizations that changed my life.

That’s why I live the crazy life that I do.

Nothing compares to the moment when you see someone realize they’re loved and cared for. Nothing compares to the moment when someone realizes that despite their many imperfections, God still sees them as perfect. Nothing compares to the moment when someone realizes the Spirit of God Himself all loving…and alive inside of the people they see all around them. Nothing compares to the moment when someone realizes that God has never and will never leave them…and that they’ll never be alone.

No wonder true Christianity broke down walls of ethnic, cultural and spiritual divisions in its early days…radical love will do that.

God isn’t complicated. God is Love.

John 13:34-35 (Voice translation)

So I give you a new command: love each other deeply and fully. Remember the ways that I have loved you, and demonstrate your love for others in those same ways. Everyone will know you as My followers if you demonstrate your love to others.

I firmly believe that I’ve got something to learn from everyone.

But, even more powerful, is realizing that every person can inspire you.

Inspiration is what happens when we stop looking at human interactions as transactional. The moment we remember that everyone is a person with feelings…with a story…is the moment their life can change ours…for the better.

Learning from others is amazing. When we learn from others, knowledge fills our brains. But, when we’re inspired we’re compelled to act. Learning keeps us humble…it makes us wise. But being inspired each other helps us live…fully embrace life.

This week I met with a client, her generosity to give others credit for work well done reminds me to always shine a spotlight on others’ accomplishments.

This week a friend of mine told another friend of mine that she was making a difference, her willingness to share that reminds me that a few words of encouragement, even to someone I barely know, can mean the world.

This week I met a priest, his willingness to connect with me reminds me how important it is to keep an open mind and open door…even with strangers.

This week I had lunch with a new friend who shared a lot of her life story with me. Her candor and strength remind me of how important it is to be real.

This week I met with a vendor, his desire to learn more about my needs reminds me of the importance of trust.

This week my husband’s giddiness over seeing his family reminds me of how precious family is.

This week a friend of mine needed to unload some crap. His willingness to lay it all out there reminds me how important it is to not bottle things up.

This week I had dinner with friends who have poured a ton of themselves into a cause they believe in with all of their beings. They remind me of what people can do when they work together with people being their number one priorities.

This week I met a man who left his steady job while he did some soul searching to find something that resonated with his desires deep inside him. His courage reminds me of the importance of embracing who we are at our cores.

This week one of my best friends poured hours of his life into literally rebuilding his family’s home and spent the rest of those hours inspiring a team of people…all while being an amazing husband and father. His dedication reminds me that people are what always matter most.

Those reminders were inspirations…of humanness…of belief…of life…a true depiction of what matters in life. I pray I never stop being inspired by those around me.

We’re needy people. I know I am. Needy in that I need to know I am loved.

I believe everyone, no matter what they might say to the contrary, wants to know they’re loved…wants to feel loved.

But, sometimes my frustrations work overtime. In some moments or seasons I don’t feel loved. Cognitively, I know I am loved. But it’s that feeling part that gets in the way. The feeling tries to talk me out of the knowledge that I am, indeed, loved…loved by my husband…loved by my family…loved by my friends…loved by God.

My feelings get in the way of the indisputable truth that I am, indeed, loved.

I think that holds true for all of us.

We think we risk losing love. And in all reality, because I’m talking about humans here (not God), that’s possible.

I think God knew long ago that feeling loved might be an issue. And I believed He tackled the issue head on.

I believe God loves us so much that He wants nothing to separate us from Him. He believes the best in us…despite our shortcomings, failures, imperfections and doubts. He believes the best in us so much that He made those shortcomings, failures, imperfections and doubts disappear…they’re gone as far as the east is from the west. Even if we still see them. God doesn’t. He only sees the best. He made a decision long ago to make sure that He only sees the best in us. And he keeps giving out love.

What does that have to do with feeling loved by our significant others? Our closest friends? Our families?

Well, if God’s love lives inside of us, then it is a love that believes the best…a love that gives out even more love.

All too often we forget both of those truths.

We assume that our families no longer care. We assume that our significant other is mad at us. We assume that a friend has replaced us with someone else.

If those are the things we dwell upon, are we believing the best in people?

If those are the things we dwell upon, are we focused too much on ourselves instead of letting God’s love exude from us into the lives of others?

I’m not saying the feelings aren’t real. Because they are. Frankly, I’ve felt them all…often…and they reappear all of the time.

But feeling sorry for ourselves doesn’t help anything.

When I stop the love flow to others based upon my fears, assumptions or frustrations, it only makes me feel awful…feel lonely…feel depressed. In focusing upon myself, I forget that they might be overwhelmed, they might be busy, they might be dealing with stuff, they might be tired, they might be absent-minded, they might be feeling the same “unloved” feelings I’m dealing with, or maybe they really are frustrated with me…but it doesn’t change that love believes the best…and it doesn’t change the fact that love gives.

The thing is…when I realize the self-pity ridiculousness that is going on in my head…and I force myself to stop and believe the best in those people…and to let love flow…I forget about the feelings, and I feel fulfilled. And, almost simultaneously, I feel loved…not because the love is always returned to me…but because love is operating in me…and that’s when I feel loved by a being much bigger than I can imagine.

Love exists to be given away…as we believe the best in one another.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, The Message)