One year ago I was meeting with people to let them know how much their friendships had meant to me over the years.

One year ago I did one most courageous thing I things I’ve ever done…I exchanged a life of routine and predictability for one filled with unknowns.

I left my amazing job of nearly 12 years to help friends plant a church…to start my own communications business…to learn more about myself.

Sounds cushy, right? Nope.

Crazy. Lost. Weak. Dense. Alone.

That’s how I’ve felt throughout the past year.

Stretched. Grateful. Loved. Fulfilled. Found.

That’s also how I’ve felt.

You see, courage doesn’t exist without risk.

Walking a path of unpredictability is hard. You end up tripping over yourself more than anything else. You doubt yourself. Question your decisions. You wonder who you are. And then you remember that it’s part of the ride. The courageous ride. The ride that shows promise of something great on the other side, even if you can’t see clearly what it is in the moment.

And, when you stop to remember the purpose, the ride becomes euphoric. It has meaning. You just need to put yourself in a place where you can see goodness and promise even in those dim moments.

My point? Opportunity is not painless. Even when it is what you know that you’re supposed to be doing. Even when you’re pursuing your passion and standing in your truth.

A year later, I’d make the same choice 1000 times over…even knowing all I’d feel. Because I’d also know the purpose found on the other side. The purpose to Bloom.

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Consider this a thank you note of sorts. A thank you to Best Buy and all of my amazing colleagues…for all you plant in your people…for all I learned…for all of your encouragement…and, dare I say, all your love. A year later I still feel it. And, it helped me discover purpose. I am forever grateful.

Don’t ask where I got that. After doing a lot of reading, studying and reflecting over the holidays, the concept hit me like a train. And, I’ll preface this post by saying that it’s my own reminder to me…I only hope it helps someone else along the way…

You see, I’d like to think I’m not the only one who spends far too much time wondering what is next in life. It’s funny, because the future is something in life that is not guaranteed. Don’t get me wrong. Daydreaming is totally cool. For me, it’s sometimes welcome escapism.

But here’s the deal…what if life isn’t about what’s next? What if it’s not about where you’re going? What if it’s more about why you’re headed in a certain direction?

Would that change how you approach your life? Because the concept is definitely turning my life upside down.

After all, is there really ever a destination in life? Seriously, even if you find a destination, don’t you quickly find a new one to run toward anyway?

Maybe you’ve discovered that burning thing inside of you…maybe not…but it doesn’t matter.

Do you really think you’re done once you figure that out? Of course not. That burning thing simply gives you purpose, passion and direction…not THE answer.

So, why then do we spend so much time stressing about it? You know what’s inside of you. What’s stopping you from running with what you know so far? You’ll learn as you go…every step of the way. If you just start moving, the compass will continue to direct you. And, a compass never stops pointing in a given direction…you only know you’re going in the right direction.

Turning a call into a destination only adds stress, grows ego and leaves you feeling empty. (Can you hear me convincing myself here?!)

Realize. Reframe. Repeat. Remember.

A call is not a destination…it’s a compass.

In fact, I’m thankful for not knowing. Honestly, right now I’m pretty sure I’d be overwhelmed with fear, disbelief and complete lack of confidence if I knew what my future held.

Frankly, I don’t think my plans count anyway.

Don’t get me wrong. Goals are important. But, for me, my goals are no longer about WHAT I’ll do. My goals are about WHO I’m committed to being…a woman madly in love with her husband…a woman who is open about who she is and how she feels…a woman who cares and wants to serve others…a woman crazy thankful for God’s grace in her imperfect life.

I had to come to the conclusion that if I follow the path of the person I believe I’m created to be, the rest will follow. I can’t plan anymore…because I can’t fathom what stands before me.

A wise woman I know once said courage comes before confidence. For me, it’s been about the courage to be who I am so I can be confident that I’m following the right path in my life. If I have the courage to take one step, the next step will be clearer. In moments I’ll climb quickly…other moments will move slowly. That’s OK, because I’m done scheduling those moments. I’ll never be fulfilled if they’re my own defined moments.

Eleven years ago, I never imagined meeting and marrying the most selfless and generous man on the planet (from Mississippi nonetheless). Eight years ago, I never imagined meeting those who’ve become my closest, life-long friends. Two years ago, I never imagined leaving my wonderful corporate career. A year ago, I never imagined starting my own business. Six months ago, I never imagined planting a church. Yesterday, I never imagined it possible for even more to be stirring on the inside of me.

You see…I can’t plan these things. And I can’t chart where they’ll go. I can only chase after me. The “me” that only God could envision.

I thank God that “eyes haven’t seen and ears haven’t heard the things He has in store for those who love Him.” For me, it’s not about mystery. I firmly believe God is protecting me from my own cowardly human mind because it has much less confidence in me than He has.

For me, the blank space in front of me isn’t a deep chasm of nothingness. It’s a blank page waiting to be filled with colors and designs that no one ever has seen. And, believe me, it’s not just one sheet of paper…it’s a huge book full of them.