Chasing After Me

Sometimes I have crappy days…crappy weeks, even.

Sometimes I get really crabby for no particular reason.

Sometimes some, choice, four-letter-words slip out.

Sometimes money is tight.

Sometimes precious relationships in my life are strained.

Sometimes stress weighs on me.

Sometimes I slam doors shut and yell because I’m angry.

Sometimes I feel weak.

Sometimes I feel confused.

Sometimes I have no confidence.

Sometimes I feel lonely.

Sometimes I feel discouraged.

Sometimes the world disappoints me.

Sometimes I wonder where God is.

Crap goes down in my life. Sometimes it’s significant. Sometimes it’s petty.

It’s easy to get caught up in the bad stuff.

But I choose hope. And I have to remind myself of hope every, single day…because hope is intangible.

Hope is believing what I can’t see. Hope is trusting in goodness and peace.

Hope produces smiles when the heaviness of situations feels unbearable.

Hope finds positives in the ugliest of situations.

Hope convinces me that God turns crap into fertilizer where beautiful things can grow.

Hope removes fear because it reminds me that I have absolutely nothing to lose.

Hope reminds me that someone exists who is bigger and more powerful than me.

Hope inspires me so that I can inspire others.

There’s a lot of power in those four letters.

Those four letters anchor my soul.

I don’t believe being a Christian is about avoiding hell.

I believe following Jesus, and realizing we’re lovable despite our crap, is about finding fulfillment and life…here and now.

I don’t believe the Bible is best read as an instruction book.

I believe that the Bible will change your life when you read it as a love story of an eternal creator pursuing those He loves.

I don’t believe conversations with God have to be filled with elegant, flowery and ridiculously inspirational words and phrases that no one would ever use in real life.

I believe God wants us to know we can talk with Him like we talk with our friends – no matter how happy, sad or angry we are…even if we’re pissed at God, Himself.

I don’t believe that God should be marketed as the ultimate self-help program.

I believe that the true Love and Life that lives inside of us gives more hope to the rest of the world than any pamphlet handed to people on the street ever could.

I don’t believe that heaven will be sparsely populated.

I believe that God did everything in His power to spend eternity with every single being He created.

I don’t believe we have to perform rituals to earn God’s love.

I believe human beings were created to be loved. And, when we experience true Love, love overflows from our lives into the lives of others.

Those are the realizations that changed my life.

That’s why I live the crazy life that I do.

Nothing compares to the moment when you see someone realize they’re loved and cared for. Nothing compares to the moment when someone realizes that despite their many imperfections, God still sees them as perfect. Nothing compares to the moment when someone realizes the Spirit of God Himself all loving…and alive inside of the people they see all around them. Nothing compares to the moment when someone realizes that God has never and will never leave them…and that they’ll never be alone.

No wonder true Christianity broke down walls of ethnic, cultural and spiritual divisions in its early days…radical love will do that.

God isn’t complicated. God is Love.

John 13:34-35 (Voice translation)

So I give you a new command: love each other deeply and fully. Remember the ways that I have loved you, and demonstrate your love for others in those same ways. Everyone will know you as My followers if you demonstrate your love to others.

I’m so sick of watching and reading news lately. I’m tired of hearing about the debt ceiling.  I’m tired of hearing about credit downgrades. I’m tired of negative economic news sending people into a panic.

Is that what life is really all about?

Oh, I’m not naïve. I get it. I understand the implications. I freelance and consult to make ends meet. My husband works for a major U.S. retailer. I know what happens when companies tighten expenses their customers tighten expenses. I get it. I could dwell on it…scurry…worry…but it’s not worth it to me.

It’s not what life is about.

Today 31 Navy Seals died in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan. It’s not about why our military is there and whether or not it’s the right thing. It’s not what this blog is about.  The point is 31 families are hurting today. Their hearts are breaking. They’re hanging on to memories. They’re shedding tears. They’re probably immensely proud of their lost ones. They probably wish they could have shared their feelings with their loved ones just once more.

Those families are being thrust into remembering what life is really about.

I’m pretty sure that today those families don’t care about the downgraded U.S. credit score. Frankly, I’m pretty sure that many of them would probably give up their jobs for another moment with their lost loved ones. I bet that the lives of those 31 Navy Seals have collectively inspired tens of thousands of others…inspired them to really live…really embrace life…

And the odd and encouraging thing is that despite the hurt that comes with this news is that even in death, the inspiration of those 31 Seals lives…lives filled with life, passion, commitment and loyalty…lives filled with life.

The economy will fluctuate forever. But life isn’t about money. Life isn’t about worrying what may or may not happen. Life is about embracing LIFE. Life is about inspiring others to LIVE. Life is about a community’s love and compassion for one another amid hurts and shortfalls. That’s the life I want to live…not wasted on worry…but a life embracing hope…an economy of life.

“How would you feel if you were in her shoes?”

We’ve all heard something like that…probably from our parents…or a teacher. What we didn’t realize then was that those were lessons in empathy.

Enter the tragic loss of Amy Winehouse.

How would you feel if you were in her shoes?

Lonely. Unsure who you could trust. Wondering if there was any way out. Tired of pressures you put on yourself. Tired of everyone pointing their fingers at you. Wishing someone might understand the pain. Not knowing what to do.

Pretty sure all of us have felt similar emotions. Pretty sure — whatever tragic truth unfolds about the details of her death — that the same thing could have happened to me…to you.

Furthermore, none of us know what happened to her. So why are we pointing fingers and making assumptions? Especially in her death? Who does that help?

What made me so sad about her death was to watch so many posts on Twitter and Facebook pointing fingers at her lifestyle. Seriously? Put yourself in her shoes. Not the the self that you pretend to show off to other people…but the vulnerable self that barely makes itself out of the deepest, darkest crevices of your mind. Imagine what it would feel to have other people judge what hides in those secret hiding spots.

That’s where grace comes in. That’s where the benefit of the doubt comes in. That’s where kindness and gentleness comes in.

Now…imagine her happiness. Imagine how much those closest to her loved her, and how deeply she probably loved back. Imagine how she must have felt to make a career out of music. Imagine how many people she inspired to be themselves and embrace themselves for who they are. Celebrate all of those things.

Here’s the thing. I can’t fathom how she felt everyday. But I can imagine feeling the emotions she felt. And that makes me appreciate her life even more. I believe God can bring peace through loving attitudes toward her life on this earth, and to her friends and family.

We get to be love. Be positivity. Be understanding. Be kind. All of that makes grace come to life…even in death.

Hope isn’t trite. Hope isn’t naivete. Hope isn’t an escape. Hope isn’t even wishful thinking.

I feel that all too often we brush off hope as something touchy, feely and squishy. Something meant to make us feel warm and fuzzy. Something Pollyanna-ish.

But we forget that hope is strong. Hope withstands. Hope gives comfort. Hope gives peace.

Sure, hope can make you happy and it can make you smile, but hope is bigger than optimism…bigger than happiness…

Hope is real.

People often ask me what keeps me going…how I can always look at the upside of situations…how I can smile so often…how I can be so happy.

The answer is hope.

Hope is mentioned a lot in the New Testament (it’s especially prominent in letters from Paul). The Greek definition of that word in every single reference is an expectation and a confidence. For me, that expectation and confidence is knowing God is with me. Always. Forever. There’s no shaking Love Himself.

That means, once you realize hope is unshakable, you might end up with the same happiness disease that I have. Be warned, with a realization of hope, you’ll end up laughing more, crying more, taking more risks, loving more people…because there is nothing – absolutely nothing – to lose.

The author of Hebrews calls hope an anchor for our souls. I think that’s a pretty good descriptor. Hope keeps us connected to a solid foundation. When storms come and hurl everything into a tailspin, hope is still connected to the foundation. In moments of unhappiness and in times of discontent hope still exists and reminds us that ultimately everything will be OK.

Hope withstands anxiety.

Hope withstands frustration.

Hope withstands when smiles don’t.

Hope dwells in our souls. Hope is everpresent. Hope gives our lives life.

Hope is bigger than us. Thank goodness, because then we’re not left holding on to ourselves when everything else feels like it’s falling apart. Hope being bigger than us also means that when peace and happiness overtake us, it’s not about ourselves either…we are fueled by the love of someone much bigger.

Call me an optimist. Roll your eyes. But don’t downplay hope’s power.

Hope is powerful. Hope changes people.

I would know. Hope changed me.

Hope is my anchor. Always.