Chasing After Me

I firmly believe that I’ve got something to learn from everyone.

But, even more powerful, is realizing that every person can inspire you.

Inspiration is what happens when we stop looking at human interactions as transactional. The moment we remember that everyone is a person with feelings…with a story…is the moment their life can change ours…for the better.

Learning from others is amazing. When we learn from others, knowledge fills our brains. But, when we’re inspired we’re compelled to act. Learning keeps us humble…it makes us wise. But being inspired each other helps us live…fully embrace life.

This week I met with a client, her generosity to give others credit for work well done reminds me to always shine a spotlight on others’ accomplishments.

This week a friend of mine told another friend of mine that she was making a difference, her willingness to share that reminds me that a few words of encouragement, even to someone I barely know, can mean the world.

This week I met a priest, his willingness to connect with me reminds me how important it is to keep an open mind and open door…even with strangers.

This week I had lunch with a new friend who shared a lot of her life story with me. Her candor and strength remind me of how important it is to be real.

This week I met with a vendor, his desire to learn more about my needs reminds me of the importance of trust.

This week my husband’s giddiness over seeing his family reminds me of how precious family is.

This week a friend of mine needed to unload some crap. His willingness to lay it all out there reminds me how important it is to not bottle things up.

This week I had dinner with friends who have poured a ton of themselves into a cause they believe in with all of their beings. They remind me of what people can do when they work together with people being their number one priorities.

This week I met a man who left his steady job while he did some soul searching to find something that resonated with his desires deep inside him. His courage reminds me of the importance of embracing who we are at our cores.

This week one of my best friends poured hours of his life into literally rebuilding his family’s home and spent the rest of those hours inspiring a team of people…all while being an amazing husband and father. His dedication reminds me that people are what always matter most.

Those reminders were inspirations…of humanness…of belief…of life…a true depiction of what matters in life. I pray I never stop being inspired by those around me.

We’re needy people. I know I am. Needy in that I need to know I am loved.

I believe everyone, no matter what they might say to the contrary, wants to know they’re loved…wants to feel loved.

But, sometimes my frustrations work overtime. In some moments or seasons I don’t feel loved. Cognitively, I know I am loved. But it’s that feeling part that gets in the way. The feeling tries to talk me out of the knowledge that I am, indeed, loved…loved by my husband…loved by my family…loved by my friends…loved by God.

My feelings get in the way of the indisputable truth that I am, indeed, loved.

I think that holds true for all of us.

We think we risk losing love. And in all reality, because I’m talking about humans here (not God), that’s possible.

I think God knew long ago that feeling loved might be an issue. And I believed He tackled the issue head on.

I believe God loves us so much that He wants nothing to separate us from Him. He believes the best in us…despite our shortcomings, failures, imperfections and doubts. He believes the best in us so much that He made those shortcomings, failures, imperfections and doubts disappear…they’re gone as far as the east is from the west. Even if we still see them. God doesn’t. He only sees the best. He made a decision long ago to make sure that He only sees the best in us. And he keeps giving out love.

What does that have to do with feeling loved by our significant others? Our closest friends? Our families?

Well, if God’s love lives inside of us, then it is a love that believes the best…a love that gives out even more love.

All too often we forget both of those truths.

We assume that our families no longer care. We assume that our significant other is mad at us. We assume that a friend has replaced us with someone else.

If those are the things we dwell upon, are we believing the best in people?

If those are the things we dwell upon, are we focused too much on ourselves instead of letting God’s love exude from us into the lives of others?

I’m not saying the feelings aren’t real. Because they are. Frankly, I’ve felt them all…often…and they reappear all of the time.

But feeling sorry for ourselves doesn’t help anything.

When I stop the love flow to others based upon my fears, assumptions or frustrations, it only makes me feel awful…feel lonely…feel depressed. In focusing upon myself, I forget that they might be overwhelmed, they might be busy, they might be dealing with stuff, they might be tired, they might be absent-minded, they might be feeling the same “unloved” feelings I’m dealing with, or maybe they really are frustrated with me…but it doesn’t change that love believes the best…and it doesn’t change the fact that love gives.

The thing is…when I realize the self-pity ridiculousness that is going on in my head…and I force myself to stop and believe the best in those people…and to let love flow…I forget about the feelings, and I feel fulfilled. And, almost simultaneously, I feel loved…not because the love is always returned to me…but because love is operating in me…and that’s when I feel loved by a being much bigger than I can imagine.

Love exists to be given away…as we believe the best in one another.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, The Message)

Eleven years ago, I dreamed of a family and romantic dates and adventures, all shared with my new best friend.

Today I still dream…I still dream of family…but I dream about the different ways the concept of family lives for us. I still dream of romantic dates and adventures, but they’re no longer checklists of activities and destinations. Instead, they’re dreams of the experiences we’ll have together and memories we’ll make and cherish forever.

Eleven years ago, I wondered what adventures our life together would bring…and wondered how it would be possible to love you more than I did that moment.

Today I still wonder…I still wonder about our adventures…but I wonder about how things we do every day will morph into adventures…how we’ll embrace those adventures…and wonder how we’ll respond. I still wonder about the depth of our love…but wonder how I ever could have thought that what we had back then was the pinnacle…and wonder about the many ways we’ll continue to grow together…and wonder our adventures together will draw us closer and define who we are individually and, more importantly, who we are collectively.

Eleven years ago, joy was bursting from me at the mere thought that I’d found someone like you…who could love me for all of who I was…and someone whom I loved loving.

Today joy still bursts…but joy about spending my life with someone whose brilliance baffles me, whose selflessness inspires me, whose loyalty overwhelms me, and whose mere life makes me want to learn more…love more.

Here’s to dreaming, wondering and embracing joy for eleven more years…times eleven.

My House

Home is not what my house becomes when people are made comfortable there. Home  isn’t even a destination. Home is bigger than that.

Home is where we’re most vulnerable, but where we’re also the safest.

Home is a where we’re naked and where our dirty laundry piles up, but also where we become refreshed and beautiful.

My Home

Home is where we feel safe crying, but also where someone will be to wipe our tears.

Home is where we’re comfortable being all of who we are, but where we have a family encouraging us to follow our hearts, to take risks and help us grow.

Home is where we love and serve others.

Home is where community flourishes.

Home is where love abounds.

Home is something we experience…a state of mind…a community of friends…for me, home is a made possible by grace and powered by Love. A Love that overflows to, I hope, help others experience HOME.

“How would you feel if you were in her shoes?”

We’ve all heard something like that…probably from our parents…or a teacher. What we didn’t realize then was that those were lessons in empathy.

Enter the tragic loss of Amy Winehouse.

How would you feel if you were in her shoes?

Lonely. Unsure who you could trust. Wondering if there was any way out. Tired of pressures you put on yourself. Tired of everyone pointing their fingers at you. Wishing someone might understand the pain. Not knowing what to do.

Pretty sure all of us have felt similar emotions. Pretty sure — whatever tragic truth unfolds about the details of her death — that the same thing could have happened to me…to you.

Furthermore, none of us know what happened to her. So why are we pointing fingers and making assumptions? Especially in her death? Who does that help?

What made me so sad about her death was to watch so many posts on Twitter and Facebook pointing fingers at her lifestyle. Seriously? Put yourself in her shoes. Not the the self that you pretend to show off to other people…but the vulnerable self that barely makes itself out of the deepest, darkest crevices of your mind. Imagine what it would feel to have other people judge what hides in those secret hiding spots.

That’s where grace comes in. That’s where the benefit of the doubt comes in. That’s where kindness and gentleness comes in.

Now…imagine her happiness. Imagine how much those closest to her loved her, and how deeply she probably loved back. Imagine how she must have felt to make a career out of music. Imagine how many people she inspired to be themselves and embrace themselves for who they are. Celebrate all of those things.

Here’s the thing. I can’t fathom how she felt everyday. But I can imagine feeling the emotions she felt. And that makes me appreciate her life even more. I believe God can bring peace through loving attitudes toward her life on this earth, and to her friends and family.

We get to be love. Be positivity. Be understanding. Be kind. All of that makes grace come to life…even in death.