Sometimes I have crappy days…crappy weeks, even.

Sometimes I get really crabby for no particular reason.

Sometimes some, choice, four-letter-words slip out.

Sometimes money is tight.

Sometimes precious relationships in my life are strained.

Sometimes stress weighs on me.

Sometimes I slam doors shut and yell because I’m angry.

Sometimes I feel weak.

Sometimes I feel confused.

Sometimes I have no confidence.

Sometimes I feel lonely.

Sometimes I feel discouraged.

Sometimes the world disappoints me.

Sometimes I wonder where God is.

Crap goes down in my life. Sometimes it’s significant. Sometimes it’s petty.

It’s easy to get caught up in the bad stuff.

But I choose hope. And I have to remind myself of hope every, single day…because hope is intangible.

Hope is believing what I can’t see. Hope is trusting in goodness and peace.

Hope produces smiles when the heaviness of situations feels unbearable.

Hope finds positives in the ugliest of situations.

Hope convinces me that God turns crap into fertilizer where beautiful things can grow.

Hope removes fear because it reminds me that I have absolutely nothing to lose.

Hope reminds me that someone exists who is bigger and more powerful than me.

Hope inspires me so that I can inspire others.

There’s a lot of power in those four letters.

Those four letters anchor my soul.

My dear friend Missy Durant is an amazing woman. Her life is overflowing with love and gratitude…and it spreads to everyone she knows. She wrote a book recently, What Matters, and I couldn’t be more excited for her.

I believe in what she’s doing with all of my heart…because it’s beautiful…because I cherish her and her heart.

So, today, I blogged on her web site…take a peek here!

I believe following Jesus, and realizing we’re lovable despite our crap, is about finding fulfillment and life…here and now.

I don’t believe the Bible is best read as an instruction book.

I believe that the Bible will change your life when you read it as a love story of an eternal creator pursuing those He loves.

I don’t believe conversations with God have to be filled with elegant, flowery and ridiculously inspirational words and phrases that no one would ever use in real life.

I believe God wants us to know we can talk with Him like we talk with our friends – no matter how happy, sad or angry we are…even if we’re pissed at God, Himself.

I don’t believe that God should be marketed as the ultimate self-help program.

I believe that the true Love and Life that lives inside of us gives more hope to the rest of the world than any pamphlet handed to people on the street ever could.

I don’t believe that heaven will be sparsely populated.

I believe that God did everything in His power to spend eternity with every single being He created.

I don’t believe we have to perform rituals to earn God’s love.

I believe human beings were created to be loved. And, when we experience true Love, love overflows from our lives into the lives of others.

Those are the realizations that changed my life.

That’s why I live the crazy life that I do.

Nothing compares to the moment when you see someone realize they’re loved and cared for. Nothing compares to the moment when someone realizes that despite their many imperfections, God still sees them as perfect. Nothing compares to the moment when someone realizes the Spirit of God Himself all loving…and alive inside of the people they see all around them. Nothing compares to the moment when someone realizes that God has never and will never leave them…and that they’ll never be alone.

No wonder true Christianity broke down walls of ethnic, cultural and spiritual divisions in its early days…radical love will do that.

God isn’t complicated. God is Love.

John 13:34-35 (Voice translation)

So I give you a new command: love each other deeply and fully. Remember the ways that I have loved you, and demonstrate your love for others in those same ways. Everyone will know you as My followers if you demonstrate your love to others.

It was the most humbling experience of my life.

Vincente used to be a hitman. But now he embraces “man.”

Vincente used to take life, now he overflows with Life.

He’s one of the happiest and most generous people I’ve ever met, yet his material possessions are very few. He carries around everything of value to him in his backpack. Based upon what I know about Vincente, I imagine it’s not much more than his Bible, some fishing line and a knife to prepare his fish. He fishes everyday to catch his meals, and some days he only buys an onion and a lime to make ceviche in the rocks by the ocean.

And he gave me his bread. His whole bag of bread. Four pieces of sweet-smelling fresh bread that he just bought at the market…likely his breakfast…for at least a couple days…and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

It’s the most precious gift I’ve ever received.

I had been teaching about life and the safety we have in the grace of God. But Vincente taught me, in that moment, about the generosity that flows from the manifestation of true life…the kind of generosity that overflows from a life filled with LIFE.

The message of LIFE Vincente shared with me is one etched on my heart. Forever. As I eat that bread for breakfast today, I know that the gift I’m eating came from a place of Life…Life that will nourish and sustain me…Life that, in some way, will always remain a part of my being.

Is that what life is really all about?

Oh, I’m not naïve. I get it. I understand the implications. I freelance and consult to make ends meet. My husband works for a major U.S. retailer. I know what happens when companies tighten expenses their customers tighten expenses. I get it. I could dwell on it…scurry…worry…but it’s not worth it to me.

It’s not what life is about.

Today 31 Navy Seals died in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan. It’s not about why our military is there and whether or not it’s the right thing. It’s not what this blog is about.  The point is 31 families are hurting today. Their hearts are breaking. They’re hanging on to memories. They’re shedding tears. They’re probably immensely proud of their lost ones. They probably wish they could have shared their feelings with their loved ones just once more.

Those families are being thrust into remembering what life is really about.

I’m pretty sure that today those families don’t care about the downgraded U.S. credit score. Frankly, I’m pretty sure that many of them would probably give up their jobs for another moment with their lost loved ones. I bet that the lives of those 31 Navy Seals have collectively inspired tens of thousands of others…inspired them to really live…really embrace life…

And the odd and encouraging thing is that despite the hurt that comes with this news is that even in death, the inspiration of those 31 Seals lives…lives filled with life, passion, commitment and loyalty…lives filled with life.

The economy will fluctuate forever. But life isn’t about money. Life isn’t about worrying what may or may not happen. Life is about embracing LIFE. Life is about inspiring others to LIVE. Life is about a community’s love and compassion for one another amid hurts and shortfalls. That’s the life I want to live…not wasted on worry…but a life embracing hope…an economy of life.

But, even more powerful, is realizing that every person can inspire you.

Inspiration is what happens when we stop looking at human interactions as transactional. The moment we remember that everyone is a person with feelings…with a story…is the moment their life can change ours…for the better.

Learning from others is amazing. When we learn from others, knowledge fills our brains. But, when we’re inspired we’re compelled to act. Learning keeps us humble…it makes us wise. But being inspired each other helps us live…fully embrace life.

This week I met with a client, her generosity to give others credit for work well done reminds me to always shine a spotlight on others’ accomplishments.

This week a friend of mine told another friend of mine that she was making a difference, her willingness to share that reminds me that a few words of encouragement, even to someone I barely know, can mean the world.

This week I met a priest, his willingness to connect with me reminds me how important it is to keep an open mind and open door…even with strangers.

This week I had lunch with a new friend who shared a lot of her life story with me. Her candor and strength remind me of how important it is to be real.

This week I met with a vendor, his desire to learn more about my needs reminds me of the importance of trust.

This week my husband’s giddiness over seeing his family reminds me of how precious family is.

This week a friend of mine needed to unload some crap. His willingness to lay it all out there reminds me how important it is to not bottle things up.

This week I had dinner with friends who have poured a ton of themselves into a cause they believe in with all of their beings. They remind me of what people can do when they work together with people being their number one priorities.

This week I met a man who left his steady job while he did some soul searching to find something that resonated with his desires deep inside him. His courage reminds me of the importance of embracing who we are at our cores.

This week one of my best friends poured hours of his life into literally rebuilding his family’s home and spent the rest of those hours inspiring a team of people…all while being an amazing husband and father. His dedication reminds me that people are what always matter most.

Those reminders were inspirations…of humanness…of belief…of life…a true depiction of what matters in life. I pray I never stop being inspired by those around me.

Today I still dream…I still dream of family…but I dream about the different ways the concept of family lives for us. I still dream of romantic dates and adventures, but they’re no longer checklists of activities and destinations. Instead, they’re dreams of the experiences we’ll have together and memories we’ll make and cherish forever.

Eleven years ago, I wondered what adventures our life together would bring…and wondered how it would be possible to love you more than I did that moment.

Today I still wonder…I still wonder about our adventures…but I wonder about how things we do every day will morph into adventures…how we’ll embrace those adventures…and wonder how we’ll respond. I still wonder about the depth of our love…but wonder how I ever could have thought that what we had back then was the pinnacle…and wonder about the many ways we’ll continue to grow together…and wonder our adventures together will draw us closer and define who we are individually and, more importantly, who we are collectively.

Eleven years ago, joy was bursting from me at the mere thought that I’d found someone like you…who could love me for all of who I was…and someone whom I loved loving.

Today joy still bursts…but joy about spending my life with someone whose brilliance baffles me, whose selflessness inspires me, whose loyalty overwhelms me, and whose mere life makes me want to learn more…love more.

Here’s to dreaming, wondering and embracing joy for eleven more years…times eleven.

My House

Home is not what my house becomes when people are made comfortable there. Home  isn’t even a destination. Home is bigger than that.

Home is where we’re most vulnerable, but where we’re also the safest.

Home is a where we’re naked and where our dirty laundry piles up, but also where we become refreshed and beautiful.

My Home

Home is where we feel safe crying, but also where someone will be to wipe our tears.

Home is where we’re comfortable being all of who we are, but where we have a family encouraging us to follow our hearts, to take risks and help us grow.

Home is where we love and serve others.

Home is where community flourishes.

Home is where love abounds.

Home is something we experience…a state of mind…a community of friends…for me, home is a made possible by grace and powered by Love. A Love that overflows to, I hope, help others experience HOME.

So why is writing this blog (and the five book ideas in my head!) hard for me? Maybe it’s because I know that I know that I know that it’s something I should be doing and I put ridiculous pressure on myself.  Maybe it’s because I think doing other things with my time are more fruitful. Maybe it’s because it’s because it requires me to publish unrefined thoughts. Maybe it’s because a part of me is afraid of the vastness of where things could lead. I don’t know. It’s probably all of that.

But, I’m surrounded by amazing human beings. Amazing human beings who don’t know that they even hold me accountable to doing what I love…hold me accountable to not discounting what I love…hold me accountable for something they know I’m supposed to be doing, too. I’m grateful for them. They keep me going.

I think we all inexplicably avoid things we’re passionate about. And I think it’s because of fear. It’s stupid becaus, if it’s a passion of ours, and it’s a competency of ours, then it is our strength….and I believe that God operates through the unique talents he’s given each of us…operates through us. Why wouldn’t we give our strengths to Him, too? What’s to be afraid of? Because, perfect love casts out fear.

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Take a few more. Remember how much you’re loved. Trust that love. Trust the peace. And let God take over…no fear…we’re not alone.

While knowledge and information help us get through life, experiences stoke passions in our lives…experiences transform our perspectives…experiences evoke cravings for the possible.

Knowledge is controllable. Experiences can be scary…we subject ourselves to the unknown. Allowing ourselves to experience life opens us up to risk. But experiences in our lives will always be more profound and fulfilling than any knowledge could possibly be.

Ask me how I know. Experiences changed me.

I had a conversation with a friend the other night. He shared a story of string of experiences that brought the knowledge he had to life. It ignited passion in him. It ignited excitement. It ignited a desire for more. He let the experiences take hold of him and bring him somewhere filled with life. Knowledge couldn’t do that on it’s own.

We get to embrace experiences. We get to create opportunities for others to experience. We get to let experiences transform us.

We get to grow. We get to learn. We get to share.

We get fulfilled.