Chasing After Me

I had a moment this weekend when I realized that the most in-depth conversations I have, I have with myself.

Seriously.

Admit it. Right now you’re picturing some woman in her car or walking through a store having a robust conversation…with no one. You know, the one where you’re convinced has a bluetooth device attached to her ear because there is no way she could really be talking to herself like that.

For the record, that’s not me.

However, if you could see what really goes on in my brain, you’d think even stranger things.

And, I’m convinced I’m not alone.

Constantly playing out scenarios, conversations, possibilities, ideas…nonstop.

That’s an awful lot of internal conversation for an extrovert.

And it’s sad.

When you talk with yourself, you really don’t have much in the line of diverse perspective to offer. When you talk with yourself, you can’t offer compassion or validation that really means anything. When you talk with yourself, you’re not getting any wiser, smarter or more enlightened.

That’s depressing.

So why do I do that again?

I mean, isn’t your life richer when you’re able to share your soul with others? Or share it with a higher being?

My challenge to myself this week is to stop the conversations with myself and share them with someone else. I’ve caught myself uncountable times this week. In some cases, I’ve shared the conversations with my closest friends. In other cases, it made sense for me to talk with God about them.

And, suddenly, I feel like I can breathe. Suddenly I feel like I can face challenges. Suddenly, I feel like I can let things go. Suddenly I see more opportunity.

We’re relational beings…why fight it?