Chasing After Me

I firmly believe that I’ve got something to learn from everyone.

But, even more powerful, is realizing that every person can inspire you.

Inspiration is what happens when we stop looking at human interactions as transactional. The moment we remember that everyone is a person with feelings…with a story…is the moment their life can change ours…for the better.

Learning from others is amazing. When we learn from others, knowledge fills our brains. But, when we’re inspired we’re compelled to act. Learning keeps us humble…it makes us wise. But being inspired each other helps us live…fully embrace life.

This week I met with a client, her generosity to give others credit for work well done reminds me to always shine a spotlight on others’ accomplishments.

This week a friend of mine told another friend of mine that she was making a difference, her willingness to share that reminds me that a few words of encouragement, even to someone I barely know, can mean the world.

This week I met a priest, his willingness to connect with me reminds me how important it is to keep an open mind and open door…even with strangers.

This week I had lunch with a new friend who shared a lot of her life story with me. Her candor and strength remind me of how important it is to be real.

This week I met with a vendor, his desire to learn more about my needs reminds me of the importance of trust.

This week my husband’s giddiness over seeing his family reminds me of how precious family is.

This week a friend of mine needed to unload some crap. His willingness to lay it all out there reminds me how important it is to not bottle things up.

This week I had dinner with friends who have poured a ton of themselves into a cause they believe in with all of their beings. They remind me of what people can do when they work together with people being their number one priorities.

This week I met a man who left his steady job while he did some soul searching to find something that resonated with his desires deep inside him. His courage reminds me of the importance of embracing who we are at our cores.

This week one of my best friends poured hours of his life into literally rebuilding his family’s home and spent the rest of those hours inspiring a team of people…all while being an amazing husband and father. His dedication reminds me that people are what always matter most.

Those reminders were inspirations…of humanness…of belief…of life…a true depiction of what matters in life. I pray I never stop being inspired by those around me.

On Sunday at Bloom, I put a shared a picture of a seemingly confident and happy woman 22-year-old woman on the big screen for all to see.

The young woman was just out of college and, on the surface, looked as if she was happier than happy and probably had all of her crap together.

But, in all actuality, it was a girl who had struggled for years with things that many people struggle with… starving herself and then forcing herself to puke when she did eat…racking up crazy amounts of credit card debt at a very young age with no great way to pay it off…going out every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night…drinking too much…finding guys to pay attention to her. In many moments, she was afraid the façade would crack, and that people would instantly see her thoughts of inadequacy, imperfection and brokenness. That they would instantly see that she was a sham.

You know people who feel this way. In fact the “people” are probably you.

I would know.

I had to put that picture up on Sunday as I shared with my dear friend Tamara about seeing ourselves as God sees us…I had to put that picture up because it was me…because it was a me who saw herself as broken.

A couple weeks back, when we were mapping out that message, one of my best and most trusted friends mortified me when he shared that some people think I’m always confident and strong and that I don’t make mistakes. I was mortified because didn’t want that to be the case. Ever. I wanted people to see me as transparent. Those closest to me know that a “confident, strong and perfect” Dawn is not reality. But what kept me awake all that night was a burning desire to lay some of the hard stuff out there…a desire to embrace transparency. Not because I was trying to hide anything from anyone, but because those real moments are the moments that can connect people with hope.

Those moments connect people with hope because they can see an anchor of hope at work in your own life…when they can see you smile despite what you’ve gone through or are going through…when they see you can cry, yet still cling to hope to keep breathing…when they see another imperfect soul find love and acceptance from their higher power.

We all go through crap. We all do stupid things. We all have moments of weakness. We all have moments of feeling gross and dirty. But we often carry all of those feelings behind a façade of a smile. Those moments are integral parts of our stories. And, for me, I believe that God – thanks to Jesus – sees me perfect, holy and righteous, despite those moments of inadequacy…those moments in the past, those I’m living now, and those I’ll face in the future.

Embrace your whole story…not just the highlights…the highs and lows complete the story. Even the crap…because I believe God turns crap into fertilizer…where there is crap, beautiful things can grow.

I’ve been silent on this blog for a while. I’ve made a lot of excuses for the silence…like…no one reads this blog…no one cares what I really think… my perspective isn’t valuable…my perspective isn’t unique…I don’t have time.

But here’s the thing: none of those things matter. Furthermore: I know those things are not true. Not for me, not for anyone.

I believe that every person IS a story…every piece of his or her life. And, the thing about a story is…a story isn’t a story unless it’s shared.

Life is not a solo mission…for anyone.

So you share, too.

Maybe writing isn’t your thing. So find another way to share. But don’t be afraid of your story. Don’t be ashamed of your story. Don’t assume no one cares. Embrace who you are. Share who you are…the good…the bad…the obnoxious…the infuriating…the humor…the heart.

We were not meant to live alone. We were made for each other. To love each other. To encourage each other. To embrace each other. To inspire each another. To help each other discover what already is inside of each of us…right now…all of who we are. Our lives were meant to sharpen other lives. Now…not someday.

You are a story. Share you.

A story isn’t a story unless it’s shared…and I assure you…someone is listening.

Embrace your once upon a time.

I met a man today. He served three years in the U.S. military in Beirut. He has three large scars on his torso, several scars on his arms, a scar on his neck, and a tattoo to prove it. He’s lived through hell.

It shouldn’t matter that he slept under bridge last night. It shouldn’t matter that that his clothes were filthy. It shouldn’t matter that I heard his story through my open car window at an intersection where he was holding a sign asking for help.

He has a name…it’s Frank Wormwood.

I never would have heard his story had I not asked his name. And, I don’t know what possessed me to ask. Perhaps it was his genuine smile. Perhaps it was a manifestation of a work God is doing inside of me. Perhaps God just needed Frank to know in that moment that he is still respected and cared for. It probably was a combination of all three.

That two-minute exchange inspired me.

A name reminds you that you have a unique perspective on the world. A name reminds you that you have a unique identity. A name reminds you have a journey of your own.

A name reminds you that the homeless person on the side of the road is not an inconvenience, he’s a person filled with past experiences and dreams for the future.

You see, Frank IS a story. He is a story filled with hope. A story that’s worth something. A story that’s worth sharing.

When other people care enough to know your name, you’re not just another person on the street. You are human. You have purpose. Your life is a story.

Me:     Who is this person?
God:     The person I envisioned long ago.
Me:     I’m incapable of all of this.
God:     You’re right. But that’s why I’m working through you.

…that’s why I’m working through you. The past two months of my life have been fascinating. Mind-boggling. Overwhelming. Exciting. Exhausting. And, mostly humbling.

What I’ve learned is that when you’re willing to give your life away, your life changes. Dramatically. Be careful when you ask God what is next and are willing to listen to him. You’ll find yourself acting crazy…leaping out with a faith you never knew existed. You’ll quickly realize how completely inadequate you really are.

Your life will get messed up. In a good way. In an unfathomable way. In a way that makes you feel smaller than you’ve ever felt.

It reminds me of (Simon) Peter, Jesus’ disciple. He was a fisherman. After watching Jesus speak to multitudes and performing a fishing miracle with his buddies, Peter felt wholly insufficient to even be in his presence. In fact, he actually asked Jesus to leave because he couldn’t see himself as worthy of being around this amazing man.

But Jesus didn’t care about how Peter saw himself. He only could see the person envisioned long ago…by someone a lot bigger than Peter. Jesus didn’t even listen to Peter’s request to leave. Instead, Jesus told him he needed him. Needed him to be a fisher of men.

Can you imagine how Peter felt? He wasn’t qualified! He was probably thinking…seriously…I fish for a living. I’m screwed up. I literally stink of dead fish! But Jesus didn’t care! In fact, Peter’s life wouldn’t be perfect…he would go on to have moments of unbelief and would even deny Jesus before his crucifixion… Jesus knew that would happen…but Jesus didn’t care. HE NEEDED PETER.

If Jesus needed Peter the fisherman, he needs you. He needs me. He needs us to be willing to listen to him and be the person he created us to be. All different. But all with a purpose. Peter went on to share the story of Jesus because he let Jesus work through him. A fisherman. Seriously. Can you imagine how inadequate Peter felt throughout his whole life?!

I was sitting with some pastors in St. Paul a few weeks ago…one of them shared a powerful nugget of wisdom…they’d studied all of the great leaders in the bible because they were so diverse…wanting to know what the one commonality was…the answer? They all had a healthy dose of inadequacy.

Check the dictionary. Inadequacy is about not being sufficient. And, I am not sufficient. None of us are. But HIS grace is sufficient. Inadequacy reminds us we will never be good enough. Will never be smart enough. Will never be capable. Will never be eloquent enough. By submitting your life to a greater being and a greater calling, all of the gaps are filled.

God:      If your life isn’t a testimony, then what is it?
Me:     Seriously, my story is not that interesting.
God:     Really? Have you tried sharing it? Maybe you shouldn’t be the judge of that.
Me:     I can’t do this.
God:     No you can’t. But I can. Thank you for trusting me.